


a talk between strangers

by emotimmyturner



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Caffeine Addiction, Feelings Jams, Mental Health Issues, Quadrant Vacillation, Suicidal Thoughts, based off of botverse, basically sollux is really not doing well, dave and him talk issues, sollux wants too get better for karkat
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-22
Updated: 2021-02-22
Packaged: 2021-03-12 07:49:41
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,025
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29631423
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/emotimmyturner/pseuds/emotimmyturner
Summary: the continued conversation Sollux and Dave had after the 7/11 incident.Originally meant to be a comic but I turned it into a FANFICTION because I wrote the dialogue but never made the comic.(also go follow botverse and the three bots mentioned in this fic are @CARCINOSPEAKS (karkat bot) @godtierdavebot (Godtierdavebot) and @2olluxbot (sollux)
Relationships: Sollux Captor/Karkat Vantas
Kudos: 7





	a talk between strangers

**Author's Note:**

> here’s the dialogue lolllll
> 
> hope it’s okay
> 
> if you can’t tell I love making comedic characters (this version of sollux) and making them sad because I love tearing my own heart out  
> thank you for reading lol

Strider is looking at me, waiting for a response. 

I don’t think I have one, to be honest.

He had asked me why I became so addicted to just...well, caffeinating myself to death. 

And I don’t really have an answer for that.

All I know is that for as long as I can remember, that’s just how my life was. Drink a shit load of energy drinks, either game for over 20 hours nonstop or pass out. The only time I’d ever take breaks was to eat shitty junk food for breakfast, lunch or dinner (not at the designated times for it, though. My dinner could be somewhere between 3am too 8 pm, there is no in between.) 

So I tell him that.

“iiii...dunno, to be hone2t. that2 ju2t how iit2 kiinda alway2 been.”

He nodded, looking away for a second before he spoke again.

“what about karkat?”

“what?”

“karkat. you guys are kiss-me whatevers, right?”

“kii2me2ii2e2, and ye2. why?”

he paused again, seemingly thinking over what he wanted to say.

“that means you hate him, right?”

“yeah. but liike, romantiically.”

he nodded again before continuing. “do you really hate him?”

I looked at the ceiling in thought. I hadn’t really thought about that. I mean, sure, I like fighting with Karkat but. I don’t think that’s everything I want to do. Sometimes I can imagine myself going on a movie date and watching shitty romcoms with him, and smooching near the end because he’s a romantic. Sometimes I can imagine myself moving in with him and laughing while we have a food fight in the kitchen. Sometimes I can...

yeah, this train of thought has gone on far long enough. I’m getting way too ahead of myself. Dave’s eyebrow is raised, as he’s probably been waiting for an answer for about 5 minutes. Suppose I shouldn’t leave him hanging.

“no, iiii don’t thiink 2o.”

He blinked, and nodded his head again in understanding.

“that goes against your uh..current quadrant? situation, doesn’t it?”

I nodded, looking at the ground sadly. 

He looked at the window.

We stayed there, me lying on my living room floor, and him leaning against my couch because ‘im too cool to sit, I lean.” (His words, not mine.) in silence. But it wasn’t an awkward or uncomfortable silence, moreso..melancholic.

I raised my head and spoke.

“can iiii 2ay 2omethiing crazy?”

He turned back towards me and nodded.

“okay.”

“iim a fuckiing me22.”

Dave snorts but recovers just as quickly.

“yeah, that’s kinda obvious, man.” He chuckles again before gesturing for me to continue.

“and iiii really need to clean up my liife2tyle. all iiii do ii2 driink 2hiity energy driink2 and eat junk food and don’t go out2iide, and that2 kiilliing me.”

He nodded again. This guy sure doesn’t like talking much, does he?

“and, thii2 whole iinciident made me realiize that by doiing thii2 two my2elf iim not only hurtiing my2elf, but al2o the people iiii care about.”

I turn to look at my window, a bitter smile on my face.

“y’know, there were day2 that iiii wa2 hopiing that after a caffeiine blackout that iiii wouldn’t wake up.”

That surprised him. He looks at me, and I almost think I can tell what he’s thinking, if not for those shades covering his eyes.

“iiii would hope that my bloodpu2her would fiinally giive out, and that iid fiinally be put out of my mii2ery. that iid be better off dead.”

I think at this point I was crying, but I don’t think I cared very much. 

“and that terriifiie2 me, not becau2e iim 2cared for my2elf, but..”

My words got choked in my throat. Thankfully, Dave knew what I meant.

“because your scared on how itll affect karkat, right?”

I can’t tell what his expression is, but it looks like.. sympathy. Like he knows where I’m coming from.

“I was like that too, with my karkat. ive been where you are, sollux. okay, maybe not lying on the floor, covered in bandages after being tortured by a murder baby, but. you get what I mean.”

I laugh, but it comes out watered down. Oh well.

“and iii ju2t...don’t want to do that two hiim. e2peciially after all he2 done for me. that’d ju2t be cruel, wouldn’t it? but 2ometiime2 iiii can’t help but fanta2iize about iit. ii2nt that terriible? thiinkiing liike that?”

He’s staring at me with an unreadable expression. Damn those shades.

“..it’s not...healthy, by any means. you might need therapy, that’s for sure. but. you’re not a disgusting person for having thoughts like that. you’re...not human, but you have thoughts and beliefs and feelings. intrusive thoughts happen, and while I don’t think you’re a bad person for having those, you definitely might want to get some therapy to help you work out your issues.”

“yeah. you’re riight. heh. when diid you get 2o good at adviice, 2triider?”

He gave me a sad smile. “learning from my own mistakes.”

I nod my head in sympathy. We’re both quiet, again, but this time I feel like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders. While I still feel bad, I don’t feel as bad as I do before, now that I’ve finally ripped off the bandaid of my hidden emotions. 

I yawn tiredly. Finally addressing my issues that I’ve been burying or numbing out through energy drinks takes a lot out of a troll.

“Alriight, 2triider. That2 enough feeliing2 jam for today. iim gonna go two 2leep.”

He chuckles. “on the floor?”

“ye2. iim two emotiionally draiined two giive a 2hiit.”

We both laugh, and I go to lay my head back down.

“hey, 2triider?”

He turns back to me. 

“yeah?”

“thank2. for uh, liisteniing two me ramble. iiii really appreciiate iit.”

He takes off his glasses. He has really nice eyes. 

He smiles. “no problemo, captor. let me know when you wanna have another feelings jam, I’ll bring the mayor.”

I laugh, and say ok.

“dont be a stranger.”

He leaves.

Maybe things will get better. Oh well, that’s something for me to address tomorrow. For now, I’m just gonna sleep.

**Author's Note:**

> the 7/11 incident is when sollux woke up from a monster energy blackout and got tortured by a machine gun baby in a grimm reaper costume in the back of the 7/11 surrounded by FORTNITE and among us drip posters
> 
> I fucking love botverse


End file.
